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MEN FIGHT BACK
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman
who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
____________
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
____________
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the stove!
____________
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
____________
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna want to
shoot it.
____________
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, whom do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
____________
All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them
apart.
____________
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
____________
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
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What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
____________
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
____________
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%... Wedding cake.
____________
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
____________
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"
____________
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and
rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has
rested.
____________
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
troopers and a dog.
____________
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
____________
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
____________
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said
"I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God,
I wish I had your willpower."
____________
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
____________
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
____________
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
____________
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
____________
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky,
mine's
still alive."
____________
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
____________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
____________
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
____________
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I
got married; and then it was too late."
____________
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.
[ Home ] [ Hydrogen Booster ] [ Calculate your Western and Chinese Astrological Signs ] [ Redneck application ] [ SEX LAWS ] [ The Rules of Bedroom Golf 1 ] [ Hyroponics ] [ TIC TAC TOE ] [ Replica Diplomas ] [ HOW OLD ARE U ] [ Games ] [ Testicles of Famous people ] [ Life Insurance ] [ Poems ] [ A litle about me ] [ JOKES ] [ The top 10 things ] [ More Imponderables ] [ Pictures ] [ Heart Warmers ] [ The Great Comedian ] [ MP3 ] [ Cartoons ] [ The why files #1 ] [ The why files #2 ] [ Why men are so cool ] [ So which condom would you use ] [ Man Fight Back ] [ Preparing for your mammogram ] [ having a bad day? ] [ Employess perfomance Evaluation ] [ Bumper Stickers ] [ Additional warnings on beer and alcohol ] [ the 5 toughest questions women ask ] [ Guestbook ]